10 Secrets from Reb Shlomo on Raising Children With God’s Eyes
Bath Time Teshuva and Other Secrets Parents Never Hear
"Everybody knows that the blessing of children on Kol Nidre night is the highest of blessings. It’s the blessing of Moshe and Aharon together."
"Why are parents ashamed before their children? It’s because they know they’re capable of so much more for them."
"The highest teshuva is on Simchat Torah. I daven with the Torah without reading it… Simchat Torah is basically a children’s holiday. They don’t know our Torah — they only know God’s Torah."
"There’s nothing more degrading than excuses… Parents who force their children to make two million excuses always cripple them. Then there are parents who have the holiness to say, 'You did wrong. I’m sorry. I know you won’t do that anymore. Let’s talk about something else.' These are the parents who surround their children with clouds of glory."
"A slave is somebody who has no time for his children. And you know what? Seder night is the first night when you’re free, and mamash, we’re spending it with our children. I bless you that your parents should have more time for you, and you should have time for your parents. Are you taking out time to be with your parents also? The holiness of Yiddishkeit is that parents and children are so good to each other."
Sadly enough, we have a lot of power over our children. Nebach, they are little. They can’t do anything against us. They are in our hands. I think my child did something wrong, and I yell at him. Then God has compassion on me and I realize that I made a mistake. So I say to my child, “Can you please forgive me?” But even this is only atonement on the level of knowledge. I don’t know how much hurt I did on the deeper levels — the levels of “I don’t know.”
Sometimes our holy sisters, our holy mothers, are just a little bit downhearted. They think, you know, we’re spending so many hours feeding our children, diapering the babies. Really, in the meantime, maybe we could write a book about loving children — and here we are, wasting our time diapering them. But let me tell you something, sweetest friends. Let me tell you: If you would know — if you would know — how much light you bring into the world when you are taking care of children. You know, we men, we could sit and learn for a hundred years — it doesn’t compare to what you are bringing down into the world when you are taking care of little children.
It’s the greatest thing in the world. Because what is God doing all the time? He’s taking care of His children. Do you know what it says in Etz Chaim? Why did God create the world? Because God wants to take care of children. God created the world in order to take care of His children.
The whole state of affairs after the Tree of Knowledge is unnatural. It’s unnatural for a woman to have pain — because childbirth is the greatest thing in the world. It should be the greatest joy.
Sometimes a mother puts her children into the bath and takes some soap and scrubs them. I want you to take joy, mamash, and wash them clean — because joy is the greatest soap in the world.